will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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