on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
