Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just cut my nipple shaving
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
