omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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