my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize