the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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