THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
And then he peed in my hair
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