i just wanna soil my oats bro
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
