Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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