I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
