you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
