Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
