You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
