I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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