Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
