it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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