I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
