I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You ruined the universe
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
