he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
