I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize