I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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