I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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