Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
