Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize