I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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