ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
