Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
