just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is wine microwaveable?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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