So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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