The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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