hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
