There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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