her vagine was all disorganized.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
