P.S. I can't hear my feet
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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