DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
