shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
