I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
