I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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