In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
