That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
