Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
