So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
