I bet he comes in French.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
