is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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