Banned from zoo.
Again?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
