Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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