i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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