She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
