Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
