Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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