is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
