I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
