After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
