Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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