so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
