I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
