I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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