AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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