Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
