why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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