we're chasing vodka with high fives
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
