He is an equal opportunity slut.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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