I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
