Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
