3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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