all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
