So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
